Like MartyrSchrader, I'm relieved to be done with Gorging. I should have done better yesterday, but I couldn't stomach the thought of having meat, so I ate a cheesecake (2100 calories, 110 grams of fat) throughout the day. By afternoon, I felt tired and weak and realized that I probably needed some protein, so I "made a run for the border," and grabbed 2 of the most fattening burritos on the menu. I finished the day around 4000 calories, and went to bed worried that I didn't eat enough (ridiculous, I know). The scale moved up another 1.5 pounds this morning, putting me at a total of six pounds above my official starting weight.
I've been very nervous about being hungry on these "Very Low Calorie Days." As it turns out, I'm not physically hungry, but I've been wanting to eat out of habit. I've been saying for years that I don't eat "that much," but now that I'm really paying attention, I realize that most of my calories are unintentional calories--things I don't PLAN to eat, but do anyway. I caught myself today just before I unthinkingly licked the lid to LittleBoySchrader's yogurt and realized that I do that all day long--munching as I pack LittleGirl's lunch, "sharing" LittleBoy's snacks, tasting as I cook. As an ex-smoker, I'm also realizing that I eat out of habit. I haven't needed food today, but I just want to chew something because, well...apparently that's what I do all day. I have to start being very conscious of what I'm doing so I don't end up with a mouthful of the LittleSchraders' food that I don't even want.!
Breakfast today was a shot of HCG in the belly and a handful of supplements, followed by a half-gallon of water throughout the morning. I didn't eat anything until noon, when I reheated a 3.5 oz piece of steak I grilled last night and sliced up half a cucumber with some dill and salt and pepper for a total of 160 calories. It didn't make me puke like I thought it might, but it wasn't especially tasty to me either. Today I feel like I'm not getting anything out of my food except nutrition, and that's the attitude I want to keep for the rest of my life.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Finally, 500 calories!
202.6
I'm actually excited about the 500 calories. The last 2 days were horrible. Load day 1 made me feel disgusted, load day 2 went a little smoother, which worried me for a minute or two, but by the end of the day I did not want anything else to eat. Load day 2 consisted of a double bacon and egg Crosandwich AND a double sausage and egg Crosandwich from BK. Lunch was a Chipotle steak burrito with sour cream, cheese, and guacamole. Dinner was some left over wings and pizza.
It's funny, even though SheSchrader and I are both doing the diet at the same time our experiences are going to be so different, and it's not just because She is a she and I am a He. SheSchrader is a stay at home mom with the temptations of a readily available pantry, fridge, kids (and I always joke about the Bonbons and soap operas); I work M-F and have to deal with food brought into work, friends wanting to go out to lunch, cocktails after work. Oh, and of course the co-workers that expect this to fail no matter what. I'm under observation by more than just my doctor, a lot of people here think this will not work or if it does it will be unbearable. But I expected this.
And if you're wondering why would I even tell anyone at work if this was a concern, why would I even agree to blog about this stuff, I assure you, I am not a masochist. For anyone that works in an office, call center, etc for a long period of time they will know what I mean by "Cubicle Butt". Might not be the proper medical term but when you sit at a desk day after day, year after year a person's arse begins to expand. It's rough, there's birthday cake everyday, burrito runs in the morning, lot's of bars for happy hour right around the office.
So, what I'm hoping is that by being vocal about this process and keeping my composure at work no matter if the process is difficult or not I might help influence others to take this initial step to improving their health. I don't consider this diet to make my health perfect but I do consider it to be a chance to restart. Gosh, I am such a martyr.
I'm actually excited about the 500 calories. The last 2 days were horrible. Load day 1 made me feel disgusted, load day 2 went a little smoother, which worried me for a minute or two, but by the end of the day I did not want anything else to eat. Load day 2 consisted of a double bacon and egg Crosandwich AND a double sausage and egg Crosandwich from BK. Lunch was a Chipotle steak burrito with sour cream, cheese, and guacamole. Dinner was some left over wings and pizza.
It's funny, even though SheSchrader and I are both doing the diet at the same time our experiences are going to be so different, and it's not just because She is a she and I am a He. SheSchrader is a stay at home mom with the temptations of a readily available pantry, fridge, kids (and I always joke about the Bonbons and soap operas); I work M-F and have to deal with food brought into work, friends wanting to go out to lunch, cocktails after work. Oh, and of course the co-workers that expect this to fail no matter what. I'm under observation by more than just my doctor, a lot of people here think this will not work or if it does it will be unbearable. But I expected this.
And if you're wondering why would I even tell anyone at work if this was a concern, why would I even agree to blog about this stuff, I assure you, I am not a masochist. For anyone that works in an office, call center, etc for a long period of time they will know what I mean by "Cubicle Butt". Might not be the proper medical term but when you sit at a desk day after day, year after year a person's arse begins to expand. It's rough, there's birthday cake everyday, burrito runs in the morning, lot's of bars for happy hour right around the office.
So, what I'm hoping is that by being vocal about this process and keeping my composure at work no matter if the process is difficult or not I might help influence others to take this initial step to improving their health. I don't consider this diet to make my health perfect but I do consider it to be a chance to restart. Gosh, I am such a martyr.
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